


I Thought I Heard You Singing

by Humanity_is_Dean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Hospitals, M/M, Mentioned Character Death, comatose emma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 08:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6231277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Humanity_is_Dean/pseuds/Humanity_is_Dean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma is sick. Cas might as well be, and Dean fears he'll lose them both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Thought I Heard You Singing

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters 
> 
> Warning: Non-graphic mentioning of child death. non-graphic comatose Emma

He was leaning against the cool window seal in his daughter's hospital room. The air was chilled and stifling with the worry and gloom filling their hearts. Across from him is his daughter lying so still that it would make anyone's breath hitch, and next to her, in a seat, is his husband with knees pulled to his chest and eyes glued to their daughter as if it's his last chance to look at her. 

The last two and half weeks have been excruciating for both parents. For the five days, neither of the men left their daughter's bedside. Their brothers and friends would bring them meals, new clothing, and the nurses felt for them so much, they would bring them coffee. After the fifth day, Sam and Gabriel tried to intervene to get their brothers to sleep one night at their home or take shower. They managed to get them to a shower, even if was only at Gabriel's place which was right by the hospital, and on day seven, they convinced them to sleep outside of the hospital. Dean "managed", but Castiel woke up at three a.m. in a cold sweat, driving to the hospital with a confused Dean in tow. Since then, Castiel stays at the hospital everyday, only to leave for a daily shower, while Dean goes home every other night for clothing and to sleep because he believes one of them has to try to hold it together. 

The refusing on Castiel's part lead to a few fights with both Dean and Gabriel, but every time they tried to lure Cas away from the hospital for a night, Castiel couldn't sleep. He would sit in the bed, letting Dean hold him but he couldn't sleep and would always go back to the hospital at an unearthly hour.They gave up trying last week which only added to Dean's constant worry for his family. 

Dean hates- hates- seeing Castiel like this. It reminds him too much of the many times when the adoption agency would tell them the adoption fell through or the parents changed their minds. 

To keep those nightmares of past days at bay, Dean usually takes a walk with Cas around the hospital every so often. Dean was about to suggest one just as a nurse stepped into the small room, stoic face in place. 

The more together of the two parents lifted his head to the young male nurse, Kevin, Dean thinks his name is. Dean barely makes any sort of greeting, except the eye contact and slight nod, but at this point Kevin "understands" and knows that. 

"Um, Mr. Winchesters?" Kevin says hoping for Castiel to join in, but his gaze is somewhere far from here. "Um, could you please come down to Dr. Barnes' office? She wishes to speak to you." 

Dean gives a hard nod and a thrown, "Be right down. Thanks, Kev." To this, Kevin nods before taking his leave from the room and back to work. Before Dean follows in suit, he shoots a worried glance at his daughter and husband, both of which are completely unaffected by the nurse's intrusion. Dean presses a kiss to his daughter's forehead and a soft kiss to Castiel's lips, who slowly flashed his blue eyes to Dean's forest greens questioning. "Be right back," Dean whispers against Castiel's lips. Castiel gives a light nod with eyes knowing and, somehow through all their pain, loving. 

That's how Dean ended pacing Dr. Barnes' small, glass office just outside of the waiting room. On a short table in the corner of the room where pamphlets which Dean had no desire to read. There was a large desk with fills covering one half of the table top, on the very top was file reading Emma Mary Novak with a red dash next to it, that wasn't there last time he saw the file. Oh God, this can't be good Dean thought, feeling the sudden urge to throw up. 

Pacing resumes, forcing that urge back. 

All thoughts of the future of his family and his current exercise was all put to a stop once Dr. Barnes walked into her office, unlike usual there was not smile. Not a good sign and suddenly that urge to throw up was back. 

"Hello, Mr. Winchester," the doctor greets, not even phased at Castiel's absence. She gestures for Dean to take a seat across from hers as she settles down into it. 

After he takes his seat, Dean gets straight down to business, "What did you need to talk about?" 

Dr. Barnes avoids eye contact as she pulls Emma's chart from the top of her stack. "Mr. Winchester, remember when I talked to you about getting counseling for yourself and Mr. Novak-Winchester?" 

Dean iratately nods. "Yeah. You said Cas and I should get counseling for ourselves and our marriage which we don’t need. We-our relationship- is fine." 

The doctor now makes eye contact with a hint of disbelief. "Really?" 

Dean rolls his eyes. "Yes, really." 

"Okay, Dean," Dr. Barnes starts. "But answer me this, when was the last time you two actually shared a moment to yourselves? Had a passionate kiss?" 

Dean knows exactly where she's going to go, and he's one moment away from running. "Not that it's any of your business, but last passionate kiss? That day. Last kiss? Just before I came in here. Last time alone? Let's see, two and half weeks," Dean snaps. "Now what did you need?" 

"I was about to suggest death counseling," and Dean's heart drops as Doctor Barnes hands him a pamphlet How To Deal After A Child' Death When You're Expecting. "Child death is always hard anyway, but you two are expecting another in four months, correct? I would like to suggest you to-" 

"Wait," Dean interrupts with voice cracking at almost every syllable, "you mean to tell me that my baby is dying?" 

"There isn't much else we can do. It's simply something we can't control," Dr. Barnes says way too calmly. 

"Something you can't control?" Dean snaps. "You've barely done anything!" 

"Mr. Winchester, please calm down. I know this situation is terrible, and there is no good way to tell you this news b-" 

"You're damn right! But this is shitest way!" Dean all but yells as he pushes his chair back, drops the pamphlet from his hands, and charges out of the door, door slamming behind him. 

xXx

He doesn't know he ended up here. In this bar, not the situation. But he also wonders what would-be go dealt him the latter. 

The bar was small with a slight smell of vomit and smoke. This bar definitely isn't high class but not a dive either, just like the ones he and Cas used to vacate during their "college years". 

Dean was on his third- no, fourth- hard whiskey. He needed the numbing before he broke the news to Cas and their baby girl. Somewhere between his arrival at the bar and the second whiskey, he shot Cas a text, telling him he was going for a supply run. He didn't answer, of course, Cas was probably too zoned out to notice. God, did he miss Cas and Emma. 

Annnnnd...the pain is back, he tosses back the last of his whiskey when a gentle hand comes to his shoulder and voice saying, "Hey, I've been watching you for the last half hour, you might want to slow down there. " 

Dean wipes his head around to see a woman of average height and short brown hair, "I wish I could." 

The woman's eyes strained with somewhat understanding as she sits down. "Why is that?" 

"My daughter. My husband," Dean reveals to the stranger. "I don't know what else to do." 

"Nasty divorce?" The woman spares a slight smile. 

"Nah," Dean starts and before he knows it he was telling a complete stranger his sob story," My husband was driving about three weeks ago, and out of nowhere this damn truck appears. Smacks right into the car. My husband- he's okay, slight concussion, but our daughter, Emma, she's- she's in a coma. Cas barely functions anymore, and the doc hasn't done anything. And you know what she tells me today?" Dean asks meeting the woman's eyes, who just slowly shakes her head as if Dean just hit too close to home. "She tells-after they've done shit for my daughter-tells me to look into therapy because Emma isn't going to make it, and we have another baby on the way. I keep asking what we can do, she tells me 'nothing. We have it'. And now my baby's dying and I'm going to lose her and Cas." Dean gestures for another drink at the bartender, who simply nods. "So you see that's why I'm drinking." 

The woman who has unexpectedly shed some tears at Dean's story, finds some courage and asks Dean, "Why are you going to lose Cas?" 

Dean wipes the tears from his cheeks, he didn't even realize they were there, "'Cause Cas is taking it hard, harder than me. He thinks it's his fault since he was driving that night and got out without barely a scratch.  
He barely talks and doesn’t leave her bedside. I know why. I know, but it just hurts so much to see him like this, and now I have to tell him." Dean shifts his eyes so they're square with the stranger's before he continues, "And you know, he didn't even want kids all too much, but when he saw her, he fell in love. He took her first year of work to be with her and everything, and he plans on doing that again when Claire is born and before Emma goes to kindergarten. I just wish I could do something." 

"Wait, they told you that you can't help her?" 

"Yep." Dean repeats, sipping his new whiskey. 

The woman lets out a shaky laugh, "Well, let me tell you how wrong that doctor is." 

Dean glances at the stranger in confusion, "How so?" 

"My son, Owen, a few years back was in a coma too, but at the time we lived in Kansas. The doctors told us to read him his favorite books, sing to him, do things around him that was familiar, and you know what? It worked. My son is fine, and like you we have another kid on the way." 

Dean stared at the woman in wonder. This could be it. This could be the key. "Are you serious?" 

"As a pistol," the woman smirks before pulling out a small piece of paper and pen. "Now, you better get to that hospital and try this for her, and you need anything at all or questions or someone to talk to, call me." She handed him the piece of paper with a number scrawled on it and a name: Jody Mills. 

When Dean realizes the woman walked away, he turned and shouted, "Jody!" Jody turned to look at him with a content face. "I'm Dean and, um, thanks." 

Jody smiled motherly at him before nodding and leaving Dean with new information that suddenly sobered him up. 

XxX

After a stop at the house for a few books, Emma's other favorite stuffed animal and blanket (Moose and the blanket Mr. Novak stitched for her were already at the hospital), and a quick chat with Pamela Barnes that he wasn't giving up on Emma yet later, he had already explained the plan to Cas, who seemed to perk up at this recent revelation. 

Dean and Cas had already read The Righteous Man. Gabriel and Sam stopped in, Gabriel decided to go on and on about his candy store to Emma after Sam read her Moose and Squirrel. 

The change wasn't obvious; it was barely noticeable, but Emma's parents could see it. They revelled in the slight (.000000001 change) difference in her cheek pigment. Cas was even happy enough by the end of the night to kiss Dean. It wasn't much. It wasn't okay, far from it, but there was a promise of it. 

XxX

The Novak-Winchesters-and-friends kept up a reading and chatting routine with Emma for the past week, and even Dr. Barnes admitted that Emma was improving immensely. Cas was getting better as well. He was more affectionate, more accepting of everyone's help, and had more faith in Emma's recovery that when Gabriel mentioned Claire he didn’t completely shy away. 

A whole week of improving and looking to brighter side, Dean was just waiting for the next shoe to drop. Rightfully so, too. 

Dean had somehow managed to lure Cas home for a shower while Sam and Gabriel stayed with Emma. He let Cas take his shower first as he fixed them both a quick meal. Dean gathered a few more books to read to their daughter. A few minutes after Dean finished preparing the meal, he realized the soft, reassuring sound of the shower had stopped for several minutes, several minutes that Cas didn't usually take. 

A rush of panic swept through Dean before he went to a full on sprint up the steps to his and Cas' room. Not there. He quickly shut the door before running to Emma's room. He threw open the door with a panicked "Cas!" that was caught in his throat at the site of his husband hunched over on the ground by the bed. 

Dean ran over to where Cas sat with tears streaming down his face. He took Cas' face into his hands and stared right into those hurt baby-blues, "Cas, what's wrong?" When he didn't answer, Dean whispered under his breath, "Baby, you were doing so good." 

"I know, Dean. I'm sorry," Castiel started with his voice way rougher than it usually is. "I came in here to see if there was anything I could bring to Emma, but then I saw the Big Sister Little Sister book Emma got for Claire. And I- just what if she doesn't, Dean?" 

"Cas, she will," Dean tried to assure his husband, trying desperately to soothe away his fear. The same fear the loomed over his own heart. 

"Dean, Dr. Barnes told me what she said to you last week," Cas said and Dean was ready to defend himself when Cas cut him off, "No. I know why you did it. I could barely function. I understand, but, Dean, we haven’t discussed what happens if she does..." 

"We haven't discussed it because she won't, and I know what you're thinking right now. This is not your fault, Cas. It's not." 

"Dean, it is! I was driving! She was with me! Dean, if we lose her it's all my fault and I'll hate me. You'll hate me. Claire'-" 

"Stop," Dean interrupted, dropping his hands from Cas' face to grip his hands instead. "This is not your fault and I could never, never hate you. Please stop beating yourself up, it's not your fault. If I was the one driving that night would you have blamed me?" 

"Of course not, Dean," Castiel said without a second thought. 

"Exactly," Dean exclaimed, and that was the end of that conversion because Dean stood up offering his hand to Cas. 

XxX

That night, Castiel found himself sitting in his usual chair beside Emma's bed with Dean pressed against him, fast asleep in his own chair. It was just after eleven, and Castiel was still awake thinking about the afternoon conversation with his husband and dreaming of his daughter awakening. Hearing her screaming Daddy! when Dean and he would play tickle monster with her or when she just needed them. He was  
praying that his baby would wake up soon from this hellish nightmare. 

They're-himself, Dean, Sam, Gabriel, Bobby, and Charlie- have been reading to her all day everyday, or Gabriel and Charlie would spin their typical tales of wonder and excitement that Emma would just eat up.  
Every book in their children library has been read at least twice at this point, many stories have been told and prevented from being told (Gabriel), but there was one thing they haven't tried. Something that they should have, but haven't. 

Dean and Castiel decided against it. They believed it to be too much for them. 

But tonight. There was something different this night: the air, the conversations, even him and Dean. It felt right to do it even though it would break their hearts to do it like everything is just fine and dandy, they had to try. Try for their baby. Try for Emma. 

Castiel gently pressed his sleeping husband awake by running a slim hand through sandy blonde hair whispering, "Dean." 

Dean quickly snaps open his eyes and bolts up in his chair, automatically grabbing Castiel's hand and worriedly asking, "Cas, what's wrong?" 

Castiel sadly smiles and shakes his head. "Nothing, Dean," Castiel says gripping Dean's hand right back with both of his. "Dean, remember when we decided we wouldn’t try it because it might hurt too much?" 

Dean drops eye contact with his husband, releasing a sad yeah. 

Castiel brings his hand below Dean's chin so Dean is forced to look at him , "Well, Dean, I feel like we should tonight. I don’t know, it's probably stupid but today just-" 

A hand was at Castiel's mouth before he knew it, and Dean reached for the hand cupped under his chin to hold, "I don't care, Cas. If you think we should, we have to." 

Once Dean felt a smile curve around Castiel's lips under his hand, he released Castiel's mouth so he could share a light kiss with his husband.  
The hospital bed Emma has been sleeping in completely dwarfed her and her four year old body, but thankfully the bed was big enough for both of her fathers to sit on either side of her without messing with her wires. Once Dean and Castiel were nestled around their daughter, gently touching her hands in theirs, they took a deep breath together before starting for the first time in weeks: 

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad  
Take a sad song and make it better  
Remember to let her into your heart  
Then you can start to make it better 

Hey Jude, don't be afraid  
You were made to go out and get her  
The minute you let her under your skin  
Then you begin to make it better 

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain  
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders  
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool  
By making his world a little colder" 

While Dean was humming the "nah, nah, nah"s, Emma's machine started to go and her eyes began to flutter rapidly as Cas sang, "Hey Jude, don’t let me down" Emma's eyes opened.  
Castiel choked on his tears and by the sounds of it, Dean was doing the same thing while pressing the call button for the nurse. Emma slowly sat up in spite of her fathers' admonishment and squeezed their hands back and smiled at both of them before continuing the song for them to join in, "You have found her, now go and get her. Remember to let her into your heart. Then you can start to make it better." 

Her fathers cried the whole way through the song, but once it was finished Dean and Castiel brought their daughter in to their arms. Emma rested her head on her dads' shoulder before whispering in their ears, "I thought I heard you singing." 

XxX

 

Standing in the hospital hallway, Dean and Castiel had their arms wrapped around each other after having called their whole family, and where now waiting for the doctors to be done checking up on Emma. 

Dean had his head resting on the top of Castiel's when he finally started to talk, "Cas, you did it. You were right." 

Castiel peered up at Dean and smiled. Smiled like Dean hasn't seen since that day, and Dean started smiling right back. For the first time in a long time, and God, did he miss it. 

XxX

"Daddy, how many more days til Claire comes home? " Claire asked from Castiel's arms as Dean finished packing Claire's things with Sam, and Gabriel came barging in with a pillow case of all of Emma's favorite candy. 

"Three months," Dean said from across the room as he zipped close the last bag. 

Emma released an impatient groan causing for her fathers and uncles to chuckle and revel in the whole moment of Emma acting as lively as ever. "Why so long?" 

It was Castiel's cue to answer because Emma laid her head on Cas' shoulder and splayed a hand over his chest. "Because, baby, remember when we told you it takes a while for a baby to be ready before they can come home to us?" Emma gave a small nod against Castiel's neck. "Well, Claire is still developing, but she almost done. So don't worry." 

Gabriel also decided to add his own information to Castiel's as he plucked Emma from his little brother's arms, "Hey there, tough stuff." Emma giggled in response as Gabriel tickled her stomach. "You know, your daddy is right. Claire-bear is still cooking. You know how when Cassie bakes your daddy pie or when Dean-o makes your favorite dinner? And how you always really want it right there and then, but your daddies tell you have to wait?" Emma nodded to her uncle while the other three men chuckled behind her. "Same thing." 

Emma had a little epiphany/ "Eureka!" moment, before she nodded and started smiling, "But Daddy," she looked at Cas, "are you still staying home with me every day when Claire is born?" 

Castiel grinned, "Of course, baby. And I'm also staying home now because school went on summer break last week, and I'm home with you until you start kindergarten next next September." 

A squeal escaped from the lips of the cheerful four year old. She accidently kicked her Uncle Gabriel where it counted when she demanded to be let down. Gabriel let out his own squeal once he let his niece down, who ran straight to her father's legs. "Thank you, Daddy! Thank you!" She squeezed Castiel's legs again before turning to Dean, "Did you hear that Daddy? Daddy'll be home with me every day!" 

Everyone laughed again, and Castiel caught Dean's eyes. The pure joy and happiness in both of their eyes was overflowing, and rightfully so, and the love they shared for each other and Emma and little unborn, Claire was basically radiating off of them for everyone to know. 

And apparently they've been staring at each other for some time because Gabriel had to shout, "Hey, Dean-o stop eye-fucking my baby brother in front of my innocent, little niece." 

They both snapped out of it, Dean blushing, Castiel glaring at Gabriel, and Emma yelling from Sam's arms, "Uncle Gabe said a bad word! Uncle Sammy, go get him!" 

The two previously embarrassed parents started laughing uncontrollably at their child's attack warrant for Gabriel as Sam whispered to said daughter, "You know it, tough stuff, but when we get back to your place, okay?" 

Emma laughed, and the previously threatened Gabriel cheered up at the most beautiful sound he has ever heard. All four men beamed ear to ear at that sound. It's been so long and now they are going home with her, a week after she has awakened. She's okay, so sue them for taking every opportunity to look at her being happy and moving and laughing. 

Under the intensely happy stares from her family, Emma became uncomfortable and jumped out of Sam's arms to run to Dean to bury her head into her father's legs. 

Dean chuckled as he hoisted her into his arms and pressed a sweet kiss to her forehead, "I love you so much, Emma." Dean reached out for Castiel, and Castiel came to their side and wrapped an arm around each of them. "I love you, baby girl. I missed you so much." 

Emma smiled, tears threatening to flow from her eyes which Castiel caught each of them before they journeyed down her face, and she tugged her fathers' necks, "I love you, daddies. I'm sorry." 

Dean placed a warm hand behind his Emma's head like he used to when she was a baby, "Nothing to be sorry for. Okay? You have nothing to be sorry about. Neither of you, okay?" Emma nodded into their necks. 

"Okay, let's go home." 

Home. His family, Dean got to keep them after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading and I'm sorry if that my adoption and comatose facts are incorrect.


End file.
